Cats + Babies

So today I asked my Facebook friends what to write about in my blog, since I want to start writing here again but was at a loss as to what to write.

I decided to take the first suggestion given to me (thank you Chris) and so, I present to you my topic for today:

Cats + Babies! 

Hoo boy. Ok. Here we go. I’m gonna go ahead and make a list here. A cat and baby list.

  1. Cats are a lot like babies in a few different ways.
    1. They lay on you and look so cute that you are afraid to get up and disturb them, so you end up laying there really really still until you fall asleep.
    2. They meow at you when they’re hungry and are (for the most part) incapable of feeding themselves.
    3. They are really, really soft.
    4. They like to attack small animals and play with them cruelly, sometimes killing them, sometimes only horribly maiming them before they escape.
  2. Here’s a little story: There is a teenager (let’s call her “E”) who comes to our library and who often babysits her little cousin. When E’s niece was really little, she would bring her in a stroller, with the top pulled down so the sleeping baby would not be disturbed. Sometimes, E would not bring her cousin, but instead bring three tiny kittens in the stroller, with the top pulled down so they couldn’t escape. We never knew, when she came with that stroller, whether there would be a baby or kittens inside. Then she’d pull the top back and WOOSH, there’d be a baby. Or WOOSH. There’d be kittens. It was kind of like Schrodinger’s Box, but nobody was ever dead.
  3. Fun Fact: In the past, cats were sometimes blamed for killing babies. If a baby died with a cat nearby, everyone rushed to blame the cat (or was it a witch) for sucking its breath out and suffocating it. That’s kind of unfair, don’t you think? Dogs get blamed for farts and cats get blamed for infanticide? Harsh. (Side note: When one starts typing “Do cats kill…” in Google, the first thing that pops up in autofill is “babies.” This is still literally a concern people have. COME ON, people! Really?)
  4. What do Cats + Babies = ?
    1. Cats + Babies = Kittens
    2. Cats + Babies = Toxoplasmosis (Don’t clean the litter box while you’re pregnant, ladies!)
    3. Cats + Babies = Angry cats in dresses
    4. Cats + Babies = Fun, adorable videos that will get a million billion views on YouTube!
    5. Cats + Babies = Some horrendous, terrifying, feline-human hybrid that can’t control its motor functions enough to lick its own butt clean.

Have your own thoughts about cats, babies, or any combination thereof? Leave them in the comments!